I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I think I won the penis lottery.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
