I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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