Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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