you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
last night I used snow as a chaser
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
