Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
