Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
