i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
