Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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