saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
