Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
