Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
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