I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
