not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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