he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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