p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Are my feet made of real feet?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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