i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
