PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
i think my cat just said my name.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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