Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
