how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
i out mim tonsoeep
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
