i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
