i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
