It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
