I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
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