another moral hangover. fuck.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
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