arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
