I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
