I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
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