what if every blade of grass was a penis?
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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