You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
