I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Come on in and take your pants off
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