Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
