So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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