since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
we should paint friendship bongs
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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