He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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