You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
