Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
