and next time when you feel me up, do it right
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
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Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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