Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
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I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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