It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
