Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Damn victory sex feels great
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