brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
