You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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