My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
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