You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
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LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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