I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
