Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
