we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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