you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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