She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
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It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
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I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
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