My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize