I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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