Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
