It's like God shit irony all over that family
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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