I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
nutella sex= disaster
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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