; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
