oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
