dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
