Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
