It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Green mimosas i think yes
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I love you. Go after that dick
Randomize
