trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
