all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Randomize
