Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
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