he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Farmville is her only friend.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
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