I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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